Ron hall
The patriarchy in the United States is is does not favor men over women all of the time. Most of the time when we talk about the patriarchy affecting the people of this country it goes against women, not saying it doesn’t because it does but this brings people to forget about how much it can affect the men of this country too. As somebody who’s been personally affected by the patriarchy of this country I think it’s important to also talk about how it affects the men of this country too.
My uncle was a african American man with a background who was falsely charged because he matched the description of the suspect, who was a tall black man. My uncle was arrested in 2016 on his way to go vote for the upcoming election and my family wasn’t given a reason why until the next day. They told us that he matched the description of a person described by 2 girls who were in an attempted kidnapping. We knew my uncle couldn’t have done this because we were with him the night they said it had happened, we just had no way to prove it. This didn’t just affect my uncles children and wife but it had a huge impact on the rest of the family that looked up to him like me. Growing up he had always lived with us or close to us and he was a big father figure in me and my sisters life so it was very hard without him there, it had the biggest impact on my grandma who was devastated by the situation because they made no effort to look into his case because he’s a tall black man with a criminal past and looks “intimidating” and that’s what they were looking for. Without giving enough evidence to actually prove it was him he was sentenced to 40 years in prison. This has obviously had a big toll on my uncle because he’s in jail for something he didn’t do, he’s not here to help take care of his family which is what’s most important to him. And because of this incident he might not be able to see any of his children until well into their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.
This is just one example of the patriarchy working against the man as since its believed the man has the power to do the crime, they more than likely to believe it was actually the man that did it instead of really trying to figure out the truth which could be that maybe it was another man or a women, but they make assumptions based on the fact that he is a male.
From 2000–2015 men have a higher arrest rate than women in every category besides prostitution by at least 10,000 peaople. And it’s not just crime but other things for example child custody. A mother has a 68–88% chance of getting custody of their kid compared to the fathers that have a 8–14% chance of gaining custody of their child. 43% of men fighting for custody of their children that make more money than their spouse still only have a 45% chance at gaining custody of their child as women who make more money than their spouse have a 88% chance of gaining custody of their children. Because of the patriarchy women are sought to be the ones who deal with the children, which gives men a lower chance of getting custody.
I’d say the biggest effect that the patriarchy has on men are its standards for men. The patriarchy in our society expects men to be the ones with a job and take care of the bills and be strong. This expectation can really drive a man down the wrong path especially men who are sensitive but. Feel like they can’t express themselves. Men commits suiced 3.53 more times often than women. And I feel like a big part of that is because a lot of men don’t see themselves good enough for the patriotic standards but don’t have the confidence to talk about it because they are afraid of being judged. I can say that as a man most of my middle school years I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone because people depended on me to be strong because with my uncle in jail and dad not living with us they depended on me to be the man of the house.
My Uncle Courtney(Not the one who’s in jail) talks to me all the time about how him and a lot of his friends growing up would fall to the patriarchy. He told me about how growing up they weren’t allowed to really express themselves and cry around other people because they would be judged, as since their boys are supposed to be strong and not cry. He said that it was a cycle that he could see running in our family and his friends’ families and the men were extra rough and strict and would have more mental issues due to them never really being able to express themselves as they had to be the pillar of their family’s and stay strong. He would talk about how my great grandfather was the only man he knew growing up who wasn’t like that. He said that my great grandfather would always tell him to be him and stop worrying about the people around him yelling telling him what to do. He said at first it didn’t mean much to him because he thought that the role of a “man” that he played was right and okay because of what everyone else around him said. so when he moved to Minnesota and started going to school and seeing boys cry and whine about stuff it wasn’t right to him because where he grew up they were very strict and would get yelled at if they started to cry. Later in middle and high school he said he got a better understanding of his life and realized that he didn’t have to be some super tuff guy, which he still is but he has a soft side to him. But he said that a lot of those friends he had as a kid are living the same as their fathers did, being super strict and not showing emotions because they weren’t able to be taught differently as that is society’s expectation of them.
My uncle is the one who taught me that society’s standard isn’t who i have to be and that society’s standard isn’t any key to success but is just stressful and can cause a lot of mental problems.
This is a problem that needs to be talked about more so we can find ways to solve it. Because of how good most men have it in America we forget about the bands things that men have to experience too because we don’t have as many big issues as women do. But I think both are important and we should work to change both because if we want future generations to be better people than us we have to get rid of the patriarchy that puts both women and men down in its own way. We could start by trying to get rid of the labels that are but on both genders and try to change the minds of those who believe in the patriarchy.
Work cited:
- https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/
- How the patriarchy affects society https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2018/01/25/renowned-therapist-explains-the-crushing-effects-of-patriarchy-on-men-and-women-today/amp/
- Child custody https://www.huffpost.com/entry/are-custody-decisions-bia_b_870709
- Gender criminal differences https://law.jrank.org/pages/1250/Gender-Crime-Differences-between-male-female-offending-patterns.html
